When Rock and Roll Dreams come true
Written by
Andrew Touch Saolini and Mark Shuan Barbagallo
Copyright of Andrew touch saolini 2006
Andrew Touch Saolini viale dello scalo s.lorenzo n13 int 6 00185 Rome Italy 339-6-4457776 saolinia@hotmail.com
andrewtouch@hotmail.com
28 marzo 2006
When Rock and Roll Dreams come true
Cast & Characters
Starring Ozzy Osbourne as Himself
Andrew Touch - Ozzman Cometh Tribute band member Ozzy Imitator
Mark - Ex Bass Player Ozzman Cometh Tribute band Pat - Lead guitarist Ozzman Cometh Tribute band member
Claude - Bass player Ozzman Cometh Tribute band member
David - Drummer Ozzman Cometh Tribute band member
Trendy Styler - SONY public relations assistant Jennifer - Substitute of Trendy Styler Tracy - Friend of Claude and - info - Lady
Fabio - Ex Ozzman Cometh drummer/member
As the sound of a screeching guitar feeding back through an amplifier can be
heard and the first notes of "Crazy Train" (a tune by mega rock singer
"Ozzy Osbourne")begins to play.
A fantasy has begun...
As the titles begin running ...
1-Ext/City Street/Night Time
We see a fast moving line of police cars, with sirens wailing, speeding down
a main city street, hot on the pursuit of someone...
Only seconds later...
As the titles are running in the background we can see cascading thousands
of headline articles and pictures of front page covers of magazines with the
rock singer "Ozzy Osbourne", there are also images of Ozzy and his band live and in pose for photographs.
2-Int/Inside Police Car/Night Time
As the titles continue running, we are now inside the leading police car, as
we hear the police officer on the passenger side reporting back to
headquarters.
Police officer 4
“We have suspect in sight! we are
pursuing a black limousine down the
main city street.
3-Ext/City Street/Night Time
An over head shot from above the police car, ahead of us, we now see,
a black limousine travelling at full speed and also the police cars that are
pursuing close behind (as the camera angle changes).
The scene fades out and goes back again to the titles and images of
Ozzy Osbourne,as the titles continue running.
4-Ext/City Streets/Night Time
Suddenly out of nowhere...another police car comes into the picture from a
preceding intersection and cuts off the limousines path. The limousine
becomes airborne as it collides with the front end of the police car. The
driver loses control of the vehicle as it flies through the air, there are
explosions and the limousine catches fire,it then begins to turn upside down
while flying through the air and travels nearly a hundred and fifty metres
before falling to the ground with a thunderous crash: Badaboom!!!
The titles stop running .
Meanwhile in another part of the city.
5-Ext/Entrance of live Venue/ Night Time
A crowd is gathered outside of a local live club in a town in an European country setting,the club is called “Rock City". There is quite a lot of noise and there are many people gathered. The crowd is quite exited and seems to be waiting on the arrival of someone.
Music can be heard on portable CD players, the songs are extracts of tunes of the world famous reknowned heavy metal rock singer Ozzy Osbourne.People can be seen laughing, others are singing along to tunes some are holding posters,some photos, some are wearing Ozzy Osbourne T-shirts and other paraphernalia.
From a over head shot as the camera zooms into the crowd, Voices can be heard off screen saying...
Various voices off screen
He's here! He's here all right!!
The crowd begins to scream and cheer as a black limousine pulls up to the front door of the venue, as the car stops one of the security men on service standing outside the venue opens the back door of the limousine. He opens the door completely and takes a step back to move away.
A small mist begins to rise from underneath the car and envelops a leg that is adorned in black leather. As the leg comes out of the car it places itself in slow motion on the ground.
From inside the car a man slowly rises, once he is outside, he stands erect and begins looking at the crowd.
The crowd begins to cheer and chant.
Crowd.
Ozzy!! Ozzy!! Ozzy!!
The man is Ozzy Osbourne,world famously renowned heavy metal rock singer "Ozzy Osbourne".
He is a fairly tall man dressed in black leather wearing a pair of black sunglasses. Once out of the car, he stops and stands with his arms crossed in front of him as the crowd chants his name. He remains standing motionless, as if to savor the moment and his fame, while the crowd continues to chant.
Crowd
Ozzy!!Ozzy!!Ozzy!!
Other body guards come nearer to the man, as in the meantime a blond haired woman exits from the other side of the limousine. She walks around the car and stands next to him, she is in her thirties tall and well dressed, as soon as she stands next to the man, the security men begin escorting the two into the club protecting them, as they enter the venue.
6-Int/Venue/Night Time
The man and woman, accompanied by security men, enter the club and, as they cross it to reach a reserved table situated near the stage, the crowd inside the club begins to cheer and applaud.
Crowd
Ozzy!! Ozzy!! Ozzy!!
The man and woman sit down at the table and the security men dispose themselves around the table, so as to protect them from any overzealous fans.
The lights in the club go down and a low note rumble can be heard...as a voice begins to announce:
Voice off screen
The hottest Ozzy Osbourne tribute band in the land... Ozzman Cometh!
The lights on the stage begin to flash, there are explosions, and a band begins to play. They are Dressed and look just as the Ozzy Osbourne band, the song they are playing is called “Crazy Babies”, one of the tunes of the famous Ozzy Osbourne group. The band moves on stage with the same motions and moves as the original band, it's obvious that this band is some kind of tribute to the original formation. There is a lot of energy, the singer begins to sing the first verse, the crowd is standing on their feet.
The man – Mr.Ozzy Osbourne - As he sits at the table, seems very impressed, interested and amused. As he watches the performance, there are other explosions and the song continues.
Suddenly screams can be heard coming from outside the venue and sirens wailing. From inside the venue through the front doors flashing police lights can be seen, as police officers break into the club, the music on the stage comes to a sudden stop as the lights go on inside the club.
An officer enters into the club and yells:
Police officer
Everybody stand still! nobody move!! everybody keep calm and stay where they are.
Another police officer enters inside accompanied by a woman, she is tall, blond and well dressed and looks remarkably familiar to the first lady we can remember at the beginning that was accompanying Mr.Osbourne. This woman looks around in the club very excitedly and seems to be looking for someone...Mr.Osbourne looks at the woman sitting next to him in amazement, as the other woman turns to the police officer and says.
Trendy Styler
It's him!! over there...
There he is, we've found him.
The woman and the police officer walk towards the table and the woman says to the man at the table.
Trendy Styler
Mr.Osbourne, everything is ok, please don't worry. I will explain everything as soon as I can.
Mr.Osbourne is confused and remains seated then the woman Trendy Styler turns towards the stage and, while looking at the band, begins to lash out at them and starts yelling.
Trendy Styler
You bunch of morons what do you think you are doing!?! What do you think you are up to!?! I am going to have all four of you put into jail and have the key thrown away.
The police officer interrupts her.
Police officer
Please, just a moment Miss Styler.
Then he turns to the musicians on the stage and enquires.
Police officer
Are you guys the tribute band Ozzman Cometh?!?
The guys in the band, with a look of worry, answer.
Band
Yes, we are!!
Police officer
There have been some very serious charges moved against you all, I’m afraid you will all have to follow me to Police head quarters for verification. Read them their rights and take them in, so we can get to the bottom of this story...
Andrew, the lead singer, answers
Andrew
What charges ??
The rhythm guitarist and bass player look at each other worried, instead the drummer looks at the lead guitarist and says:
David
There you go, that's what you get for listening to Andrew Touch.
Police officer
These are serious charges and we have to verify.
The lead guitarist enquires.
Pat
Can we make a phone call first?
The police officer answers.
Police officer
Come on, come on, let's go, move it.
As the band members are being hand cuffed and taken out of the venue and put into the police squad cars, the crowd remains astonished and can't believe what is happening.The blond lady sitting next to Ozzy, and the man, Mr.Osbourne, walk slowly out of the club as Trendy Styler begins to explain to Ozzy what has occurred, they are both followed by body-guards out of the venue. The four musicians are escorted to the police cars and told to get inside. The scene goes into slow motion and begins to fade to black, as flashing police lights and people that are screaming can be heard.
Fade to black
Flash back - A week earlier
7-Ext/City Streets/Day Time
Andrew, a man in his thirties,blond hair, medium height, is walking down the street on a sunny day, after a while he walks into an internet café.
8-Int/Internet Café/Day Time
Andrew says hello to the owner of the internet café and sits down at one of the computers, once connected, he takes a look at the web site Ozzy-it.com, an Italian web site of the singer Ozzy Osbourne and posts a notice that his tribute band “Ozzman Cometh” will be playing a show in Milan at a venue called Rock City in a week’s time, exactly the 26th of March, on a Friday...more or less the usual routine.
Andrew writes
“Ozzman Cometh”...Ozzy Osbourne tribute band live at Rock City on Friday night the 26th of March 2006. Come one, come all for a great night of Rock .
Once he has posted his advert, Andrew opens up another official Ozzy Osbourne web site,
www.Ozzy.com, just to check the news and sees that there is a special notice that reads “Sony Records presents Ozzy Osbourne in Europe for a special promotional tour to promote the new Ozzy Osbourne DVD "Shock the World".
All the dates are shown of the itinerary, but two dates in particular catch his attention the ones saying that Ozzy will be in his country on the 26th of March in Milan, the same day, as his bands gig and the 27th of March in Rome.
Andrew
(Quips to himself)
I can't believe it, he's going to be in Milan.
Andrew stares at the advert for a while and, after having written down the dates, pays and leaves the store.
9-Ext/Inside Car/Day Time
Andrew gets into his car and,as he is driving away, he tries to contact,on his cellular phone, the bass player of his tribute band Claude. When he finally gets through Andrew says:
Andrew
Hi Claude, it's me Andrew, how are you? Look, I’m coming to your work place, can you come out for just a minute so that I can talk to you? It's important.
Off screen voice.
Claude
Ok. He then places another phone call this time to the drummer David and says:
Andrew
Hi Dave, how are you? Listen, can you come to the usual hang out tonight,we are all going to meet there, there's something really important we have to talk about, ok?
Off screen voice.
David
Ok, I’ll try to be there.
Andrew
Great, thanks, it's really important, see you tonight ok...bye. 10-Ext/City Streets/Day Time
Andrew arrives near Claude's work place and parks the car, he gets out and heads towards Claude that is waiting outside, they both say hello to each other and Claude asks:
Claude
Ok man, what's up what's all the hurry?
Andrew
Listen Claude, can you free yourself tonight and come to the usual hang out place? Because I really have to talk to you and the guys. I’ve already talked to David and Pat, and they said they would be there, ok.
Claude
(With a worried look on his face)
What’s it all about, can't you tell me now?
Andrew
No, look, it's really important, ok! Tonight around nine o’clock, be there.
Claude
Come on, what's it all about??
Andrew
It's about Ozzy!!
11-Int/Pub/Night Time
Later that evening.The four band members are sitting at a table in front of a beer and are talking about the good old days like the first time they met and various other episodes regarding the band, as Pat, the lead guitarist, can be heard saying:
Pat
What about the time we went to Amsterdam, they paid for our coach and hotel room in full plus, it was a great gig.
Andrew
Yeah, sure! That was really great.
David
Ok Andrew... look, you told us to come here tonight and so we’re here, we've been talking for half an hour, so come on, what's on your mind? What was the urgency in meeting tonight, what's it all about? Is it something regarding the gig?
Andrew
(Looks at the guys and smiles)
Well, you could say it is, and then again you could say it isn’t.
Pat
Well that just about says it all,doesn’t it?
Andrew
Ok guys, I’ll come straight to the point. I read on the internet that Ozzy will be in Europe for a promotional tour and that he will be in Milan on the 26th! exactly in a week’s time and exactly on the night of our gig.
Claude
I get it!! You want to hook up with his arrival and get him our promo pack, so as to let him know we exist, right?… What do you want to do, go to the airport??
Andrew
Well, yes and no.
Pat
You want to get a copy of the book you wrote to him "Ten years in a tribute band", Come on, what is it??
Andrew
Yeah, well sure, that's in my plans, but what I really want and I want you guys to back me up on this is the following: I want Ozzy to come to our concert.
Pat
So what's new? I'd also like for Osbourne to come to our concert, but then again I’d also like to win the lottery.
Claude
Yeah, well, it's a great idea, but I don’t want to disappoint you, I really don't think Ozzy will even know that we exist. Let alone know that we are playing I mean, what are you talking about...even if he did know, he probably wouldn't have the time or what I mean is who's going to tell him about our gig anyway!?!
Andrew
Look guys, I know there is no way of bringing Ozzy Osbourne to our gig but what I was thinking of was something different. With all the contacts that we have like say, for instance, you! Claude...where you work at the TV station, can't you find out his itinerary through someone, they are hooked up with everybody, can't you make a few phone calls and find out?
Claude
Look, I can call Tracy, she knows practically everybody and deals with all the stars that come to the station and knows a lot of people, but what do I ask her??
Andrew
Tell her that Sony records is bringing Ozzy Osbourne to Italy and that you want to know as much as you can about his itinerary, ok?
Claude
O.k. I’ll give it a go.
Claude gets up and walks towards the exit of the pub and begins to dial up a number on his cell phone.
Andrew turns to Pat and says:
Andrew
Pat! what about that uncle you had that worked for that limousine company, does he still work there or what?
Pat
Yeah! I think so, why?
Andrew
I was thinking maybe he could help us out...
Pat
In what way?
Andrew
Well, Ozzy will for sure be taking a limo to and from the airport.
Pat
What are you talking about? For sure Ozzy will catch a limo from the airport or wherever he needs to go, I mean what are you talking about!?! That doesn’t mean that he will hire it from where my uncle works...
Andrew
And who says he has to hire the car from the same company as your uncle, we are going to be the ones who send him the car...
Pat
What??
Andrew
All we have to do is intercept him along the journey.
Pat
Intercept what??
Andrew
Yes, intercept him...If we know his itinerary, all we have to do is send a car along and instead of him getting into the car that was sent for him, he will get into our car.
David
You are fu***ng nuts! you're talking about rape or what's it called abduction! I mean I don’t even know what you’re talking about.
Andrew
Dave, abduction is when you put a stocking over your head and have a gun in your hand and ask for a ransom, and this is not the case, this is a joke, plus Pat's uncle can always say that he accidentally picked up the wrong person and that there had been a mistake, I’m sure it must happen all the time.
Pat
Listen man, the mistake... there's only one mistake, and that's in your brain you are nuts, I can't believe we're even talking about this, this is crazy.
Andrew
Listen guys, I want to try evaluating all the possibilities we have of pulling something like this off, I mean, it's just a plan for now, it doesn't mean we have to go through with it. We're not killing anyone...I just want to see if there's a chance of getting Ozzy to one of our concerts, that's all, if we decide not to do it, we won't do it, but let's at least try and see if there is a possibility, ok?... You can't tell me, you guys, wouldn't like Ozzy Osbourne to come to one of our gigs?
David
Of course, I would, but I don't want to end up in jail because of it.
Pat
Ok, look, there's no harm in talking about it, but couldn't we find another way like through official channels?
Andrew
Look, I think official channels would be as usual, you know “Call me tomorrow”, when tomorrow is too late! They’ll never pay attention to us.
Pat
Alright, let's calm down and try to rationalize this, ok... So, what you are saying is: if we know the tour itinerary, we can jump in with a car and take Ozzy to our concert, instead of maybe another appointment he might have, right? I can't believe we are even talking about this.
Andrew
Yes, exactly! Something like that.
Pat
Crazy! absolutely crazy! but I want to call your bluff you want to play, ok... Let's play, let's take into consideration every aspect of this plan.
Andrew
Now, that's more like it.
David
(To Pat)
I can’t believe it, are you really going to listen to him??
Pat
He's just bluffing he'll never see it through, believe me. Let’s see where he wants to get to, ok?
David
Jail!! That's where he wants to get to: Jail!!
Andrew
Listen guys, let me put it this way, if we get caught up in any kind of charges, I am willing to take the wrap I will say it was my idea and that I am the only one responsible, believe me, ok?
Claude comes back to the table.
Claude
Ok, I talked to Tracy, she said she will make a few telephone calls, she knows a few people from SONY and maybe she can find out something and get back to me alright...
Pat turns to Claude and says:
Pat
Hey Claude... let me tell you what this lunatic wants to do.
Claude
What does he want to do?
David
He wants to know Ozzy's itinerary, because he wants to insert himself in it with a limo, and pick up Ozzy and take him to the club where we are playing.
Claude stops talking and turns pale as if he’s just seen a ghost. He sits down in shock and says:
Claude
Are you crazy?! This guy is crazy... no way! absolutely no way! We mustn't listen to this guy, he is nuts.
Andrew sees that Claude is freaking out and says to him
Andrew
Don't worry, It's just a gag, we’re only talking, calm down, come on, relax.
Claude
No! No! No! I know how this is going to end up, just like all the other times, in the end you will talk us into it, I know!... I need some air, I can't breathe in here.
Pat winks at Andrew and says.
Pat
Yeah, good idea. Claude, let's go outside for some fresh air.
12-Ext/Outside Pub/ Night Time
After a while the group of friends are standing outside the pub and talking, as Pat says to Andrew.
Pat
Andrew, have you prepared the material for Ozzy?
Andrew
Yeah, I've prepared a package with the book, the new promo DVD plus photos and an audio CD...We could pass it to him maybe at some autograph signing session...
Pat tries to change the subject and get Claude’s mind off the subject:
Pat
Hey, did I tell you guys that Nico from the Ozzy Osbourne fan club came to visit me at the shop today? He told me that Fabio,went to his place to buy a few videos and he started talking about the old days like our first ever rehearsal,he told Nico he's in another band now.
Andrew
Man, those were the days, great days!.
Pat
We have been through so much together.
Claude
Yeah! good times, bad times, even a few close calls remember.
Andrew
Of course I remember, that's also one of the reasons why I want to be able to get Ozzy to our show. At least once to have an actual original member come to our show just to see us, I mean it's thirteen years we've been going at it all that hard work, all those concerts, it could be a great way to close it all off.
Someone comes closer to the group; he is tall with black hair, the band recognize him and they seem to know him well, the guys call him by his name.
Band
Hey, Mark how you doing?
Mark
Hi guys! what brings you all here tonight?
Pat
We were just remembering the old days, so we dropped in for a beer, we were just talking about when you and Fabio were in the band. By the way, did you hear the news? ..
Mark
News! What news??
Pat (Jokingly)
Well we heard that Ozzy Osbourne will be in town on the 26th and we were thinking that maybe my uncle could pick him up in a limousine and bring him to our concert...ha...ha...ha.
Mark
(Replies jokingly)
That's a great idea, only leave out your uncle, I'll pick him up, I wouldn't want to miss the opportunity of driving Ozzy around town...ha..ha.
Claude shakes his head nervously.
Andrew
See guys, now this is the right kind of attitude, come here Mark and let me fill you in on the plan.
Mark
What, you guys aren't kidding! what's going on?
While Andrew is explaining to Mark the plan, Claude goes nearer to David and Pat and says.
Claude
Guys... look, I don't think Andrew is kidding, actually he seems pretty serious, I know him pretty well and when he gets that look in his eyes, it means he is going to see it through, now I don't want you guys to pay any attention to him, ok.
Pat
Don’t worry so much, man...
David
I've never listened to him ever and I’m not going to start now. He thinks he's a freaking Rock Star.
Mark and Andrew come closer to the others and Mark says:
Mark
Ok, we can hire a limousine, I’ll take care of that and I’ll be the driver as well, they can't lock me away for being a driver, can they..?
The guys look at Mark with a look of doubt like who knows!?!
Mark
Can they...?!?
Mark
Anyway...let's work on the details. I mean, Ozzy is bound to have an interpreter or an assistant to help him out, the record company is bound to assign him someone to take care of things and knowing Ozzy it's bound to be a woman, we should try to find out who it could be and try to substitute her, maybe we can call Jennifer, the theatre actress, she's also a make up stylist and speaks English..
David
This guy is crazier than Andrew.
Mark
It’s just a temporary exchange of identity anyway.
